


Do you think of me when you look to the sea?

by brunetteandblond



Series: Moving On [13]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, They go to the beach, Vacation, thinking about waverly, waverly earp (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: It's Wynonna's 30th birthday, but she isn't in the celebrating mood with Waverly still being gone. Nicole takes care of her best friend and brings her to the beach.Part 13 of the Moving On series but can be read alone





	Do you think of me when you look to the sea?

Some days were harder than others. Nicole’s hard days were usually anniversaries of things that she did with Waverly (the day they met, the day they first kissed, the day she lost her). But she now had someone she could lean on. In the first year since Alice had been home, it was hard for Nicole to turn away from the alcohol and talk to Wynonna, but she trudged through it. After that year, things got easier.

That wasn’t the case with Wynonna. She knew that Nicole was the shoulder she could cry on. She knew that she could always ask for help with her friends. But the first year since Alice had been with them was hard. Her daughter was there to cheer her up, but the sadness lingered like a sickness she couldn't get rid of.

That being said, Nicole had made things better. Months ago, the redhead came to her and comforted her on a night when she had extremely depressing thoughts. Ever since then, the woman was there to comfort her at night. They shared a bed just as close as they shared their parenting duties.

But there was nothing the redhead could do to save Wynonna from her thirtieth birthday. A birthday she had planned with Waverly years ago. A birthday she used to look forward to (and dread, knowing she was getting older). But without Waverly, she didn’t want to celebrate it at all.

She spent the week leading up to her birthday having trouble sleeping (or not sleeping at all). Everything made her think about Waverly and she felt suffocated in her own thoughts. It reminded her the most of her time in different Institutions. She felt more alone than ever in those places. And she missed her baby sister.

Wynonna flipped over her pillow (like that would somehow change how fast she would fall asleep) as quietly as she could. The last thing she wanted to do was wake up her friend. She didn’t want to burden someone else with her problems.

“You know,” Nicole muttered as she rolled over to look at Wynonna. “Most people are restless before their birthday because of their excitement.”

The brunette cringed. She hated that she woke up her friend. “It’s fine, Haught. Go back to sleep.”

“Nuh uh,” The redhead replied before getting up and turning on the light. “I told you a while ago that you can tell me anything. That I’m here for you. So tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Wynonna put her head in her hands, pulling at her hair slightly. The action made Nicole more worried, but the brunette couldn’t help it. It was her natural reaction. She knew that soon the shaking would start. She only could hope that the conversation would end before it got to that point.

“I’m sorry, ginger spice,” Wynonna whispered with a slight edge to her voice. She decided to be as vague as possible. “I’ve never been one for birthdays. They remind me too much of all the people that I miss.”

Nicole nodded, understanding where the brunette was coming from. Though, she could also tell that Wynonna wasn’t being totally honest.

“So what’s so different about this birthday?” Nicole asked her as she considered whether or not to put her hand on Wynonna’s back. “Is it that you’re turning thirty?”

The brunette let out a tense chuckle and she flopped down onto her back. As she stared at the ceiling, she answered, “No. I mean, I don’t want to be getting old, but I’m already a mom. My age doesn’t tell me about how responsible I have to be anymore. And it’s not a closer to death thing either. It’s… Waverly.”

Nicole’s face fell and she pushed her hair back behind her ears anxiously. “Oh. Do you have certain traditions with her… or…?”

Wynonna shook her head. “No, no. Nothing like that. We planned a trip. We were hoping that at that point, Alice would be back. We were planning to go, the three of us, to the ocean. Waverly had never seen it and I love it. It was going to be a road trip and everything. And I just-- I miss her. So much.”

The redhead laid back down and leaned on her side so that she could still see the brunette. “I miss her, too. Is there anything I could do that could help? I could get Jeremy and Robin to take Alice that day. We can do whatever you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be fine after the day passes.”

Nicole rolled her eyes and was thankful that Wynonna couldn’t see her. “Earp-- you know that repression isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, right?”

“Eh, it’s worked all my life.”

“I’m not sure ‘worked’ is the right word to use,” Nicole argued gently. She put her hand on Wynonna’s. “What can I do?”

The brunette thought about what Nicole was asking. But she knew that there was nothing that the redhead could do to make things better. So, Wynonna whispered, “Hold me.”

Without hesitating, Nicole wrapped her arms around the brunette until the sun came up.

* * *

In the early morning, a day before Wynonna’s birthday, Nicole quietly helped her daughter pack her suitcase after she packed a suitcase for herself and Wynonna (without the brunette knowing, of course).

“When we wake up mama?” Alice whispered as she stuffed her toy into a backpack.

“Soon, Alice, soon. We have to be quiet though. We don’t want to spoil the surprise,” Nicole told her as she zipped up the suitcase.

“What surprise?” Wynonna asked as she leaned on the door frame of Alice’s room and crossed her arms. She had only woken up a few minutes ago to the sound of someone digging into her dresser. “Haught, what’s happening?”

Nicole bit her lip and smiled at the brunette, trying to look as innocent as possible. “We’re going on a trip, Earp. We’re driving to the coast.”

Wynonna stared at the woman with disbelief and then she finally burst out with shouting, “What? What do you mean we’re taking a trip? What about our jobs? What about Alice’s preschool?”

“That’s all taken care of. I talked with Nedley, Jeremy and Robin will check on Calamity Jane, I talked to Alice’s teachers, and I already got a place via Airbnb. Everything is handled. I know I’m not Waverly, but you can still be at the ocean on your birthday. Let me take you to the ocean, Wynonna.”

Part of the brunette wanted scream and be mad that the redhead sprung this on her without asking. Part of her wanted to walk away right now, go to a bar, and get wasted. Part of her wanted to sink into the void and never come out.

But she tore away from those thoughts. She didn’t accept those incredibly dark places in her mind that she had resided in the past couple of days. It was as if she broke away from herself when she walked up to Nicole and wrapped her hands around the woman.

* * *

Most of the ride was spent listening to a variety of rock music (and the occasional indie song that Nicole snuck in). They sang and danced and felt the sun sink deeper into their skin as the temperature became warmer in the middle of September.

They stopped at junky fast-food restaurants on the way, but nothing could diminish their good mood. The sun was setting when they started smelling the sea breeze. 

It was pricey to get an oceanfront home, but when they pulled into the driveway and saw the ocean, Nicole knew that the price would be worth it. The house wasn’t big, but it was a perfect size for the small family. Besides, they knew that they were going to spend more time outside than inside. Wynonna, who was holding Alice, followed Nicole to the back deck where they stared at the sunset. At the beach, the sky was always a different color. That night, it turned into a pinkish color. A color, the brunette hoped, that her daughter would never forget.

“God, Haught,” Wynonna muttered in awe as she watched the sky become darker. “Thank you so much for this.”

Nicole put her hand on the brunette’s back. “I’d do anything for you, Earp. Besides, a vacation was long overdue for us. And I love the ocean as well. Come on. Let’s settle in. And then we can come back out and look at the stars.”

* * *

Wynonna slept through the night. She didn’t know if it was because of the long drive there, Nicole’s arm around her waist, or the sound of the calming waves, or maybe it was all of the above. Either way, her demons were kept at bay that night.

She woke up to the sound of giggling. She opened her eyes and found her daughter sitting on her bed watching her.

“Alice, what are you--”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Earp! We didn’t mean to wake you up,” Nicole apologized as she placed a tray with doughnuts and coffee on top of the bed.

“You’re fine,” Wynonna told her honestly. She looked from the tray, to her daughter, back to Nicole and asked, “What is all of this?”

“Birthday breakfast! Happy Birthday, Wynonna!” Nicole cheered as she pushed the tray closer to the brunette.

“Yeah, Happy birfday, Mama!” Alice squealed and clapped her hands as she jumped a little on the bed.

Wynonna grinned at her friend and daughter and sat up from the bed. She reached over and took a doughnut from the plate. “Have you guys eaten yet?”

“Yep," Nicole said with a cheesy grin. "So eat up, Mom. We have a lot of fun that we have to do today.”

* * *

Wynonna wondered if Nicole packed the day with so many activities so that she didn’t have a chance to think about Waverly. Either way, she was thankful.

They spent most of her birthday in the ocean, listening to music in the sun, playing in the sand, and taking long walks on the beach. It was relaxing on a level that was hard for any of them to comprehend. They spent the day enjoying each other’s company... and the sun’s. It was like the hell that they experienced never even happened. Like the trauma vanished before their very own eyes.

They didn’t even get angry when they received judgmental glares from other people in the ice-cream shop late at night. They were used to being judged as a ‘couple’ (and they were used to scaring townspeople in getting them to stop staring rudely), but this time, they just didn’t give a shit. They just reveled in their own company as they shared ice cream.

When she finally rested her head against a pillow, sleep swept her under like the waves she had pranced in all day. Nicole watched as Wynonna drifted into her unconscious. The redhead knew at that moment that it was all worth it. 

* * *

It was their last full day and they decided to live it to the fullest. They practically spent the whole day outside, causing them to turn slightly pink as if the sun gave them a kiss.

One of Alice’s hands held Wynonna’s and the other was attached to Nicole’s hand as they all jumped in the shallow waves. The giggles coming out of the three-year-old made the dimples appear on both women. Nothing made them happier than to hear how much fun Alice was having.

As they dried off, Wynonna helped Alice bury Nicole in the sand. They only got up to her thighs, but that didn’t matter. Just as the lack of crabs that they tried to catch didn’t matter. The fun wasn’t the catch, it was the chase (and the time that was spent together doing it).

After Alice fell asleep in a beach chair, an older woman approached the small group under their canopy.

“Pardon me, I’m sorry for intruding, but I just want to say that it’s good to see more couples like you two around here. My wife and I were afraid to come out of our house for the first few years we spent here. But I’m glad to see that times are changing. You are a beautiful couple and your daughter is adorable.”

Nicole was about to explain to the woman that she and Wynonna weren’t actually a couple when the brunette stood up and shook the woman’s hand and smiled gratefully at her.

“Thank you so much. That means the world to us. My-- uh-- Nicole, she was the one that convinced me to go on this vacation.”

The older woman chuckled and replied, “Then she’s a keeper. Well, I won’t keep you. Goodbye, now.”

Nicole and Wynonna waved goodbye as she walked away.

“What the hell was that?” The redhead asked, slightly amused by the interaction that had just occurred.

Wynonna shrugged as she sat back down. “She was so excited. And I like compliments. So sue me.”

Nicole snickered as she pulled out a water bottle from the cooler. “You’re acting like you have always been fine with people mistaking us for a couple. Maybe it’s just because you’re feeling better. You are feeling better, right?”

The brunette looked from the sun, to the sand, to the ocean, to her daughter, and then finally back at her friend. “That might be an understatement, Haught. I haven’t felt this good in so long. How are you doing? I’m sure all my feelings have brought some not so good feelings for you, too.”

“I’m doing okay,” Nicole replied honestly. “I’m missing her. Of course, I’m missing her. But I sort of feel her here. She would have loved this. I can see her smile. I can hear her laugh. I can feel her embrace. It makes me… It makes things easier.”

Wynonna nodded and tried to picture what Nicole was imagining. She saw her sister’s face in the light. She felt the warmth radiating from Waverly’s comforting presence. There was a peacefulness in it. An immense feeling that things were going to be okay.

“We’re going to get through this, me and you. Aren’t we?” Wynonna whispered, feeling the sea breeze in her hair.

“Yeah, Earp. I think we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can! If you liked this, go read my other one-shots. They're pretty cool.
> 
> Ooh, and if you have any other comments or if you have any suggestions/requests, you can message me in tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay
> 
> I'd love to hear from you!


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